Cry Havok, And Let Slip...The Dogs of War
The battle of the sexes has been raging for centuries with no clear winner in sight. Whenever one of us thinks we’ve got the upper hand…BAM…there's a blast that shakes the foundations of creation comes out of nowhere. But why are we fighting a battle? Why are men and women in a constant struggle for gender superiority? I don’t know I’m just a simple man…a renaissance man...but still a simple man.
I don’t have it all figured out, but I think, fundamentally, we all want the same things. We want someone who’s there for us when we need them, whether they know it or not. We want a companion we share thoughts and feelings with. We want someone that shares common goals and philosophies. We want someone who will challenge us when we’re wrong, and completely back us up when we’re right. We want someone, when the lights turn low, and the music plays softly to make us forget about any that have come before them. We want the same things. We just don’t understand that sometimes we may have to cultivate these qualities in a relationship.
No one is perfect, but there are brothas and sistas out there that think their excrement isn’t foul just because of the way they look or the size of their bank accounts. The light of revelation and discovery in relationships has to be turned inward before you can turn it on your unsuspecting prey. Being in a relationship is like being a good leader. You can’t ask your troops to do anything you wouldn’t be willing to do. If you want your man to be more passionate, think about what YOU’RE doing in the bedroom. If you want your woman to be more fiscally responsible…take her credit cards…then look at YOUR spending patterns.
For instance…I listened to my mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah…bring on the mama’s boy jokes…but hear me out. My mother always told me that I need to be able to totally take care of myself, so I didn’t depend on anyone else to do it. I learned to cook (well!) to clean (well!) to sew (basics)…to do any and everything to be totally independent. So say I put on my Sunday-Go-To-Meeting clothes and I find a nice little cutie to court. We kick it for a while, but **CLUTCH THE PEARLS** there’s a slight problem...She's not perfect! **GASP** She has all the other traits I want, but she can’t cook or balance her checkbook to save her life. What do I do? Do I send her packing waiting for Miss Perfect to show up? No…I teach her how to cook, eventually she teaches me something then I teach her something else…do you see a pattern developing here? (incidentally…in my hometown, there was a single mom on the street where I lived and her last name was Perfect…DAMN she was fine!! **fainting** But I digress….)
We’re so preoccupied with finding the “Perfect Woman or Man” that we lose sight of good things in front of us. We all want to score a touchdown, but we need to concentrate on getting a first down! What I’m trying to say is, relationships take work. You get out of them what you put in to them. You’ll have your joy and your pain…but as long as you’re working towards your goals together, it’ll be more of an odyssey than a battle. We can struggle and fight 24/7 in this battle of the sexes, but until we stop trying to point fingers and assign blame to each other, it’ll be Pyrrhic victory in a war of attrition. Hmmm…I wonder what Miss Perfect is doing these days…I may have to look her up, I’m sure she can teach me some things!
I don’t have it all figured out, but I think, fundamentally, we all want the same things. We want someone who’s there for us when we need them, whether they know it or not. We want a companion we share thoughts and feelings with. We want someone that shares common goals and philosophies. We want someone who will challenge us when we’re wrong, and completely back us up when we’re right. We want someone, when the lights turn low, and the music plays softly to make us forget about any that have come before them. We want the same things. We just don’t understand that sometimes we may have to cultivate these qualities in a relationship.
No one is perfect, but there are brothas and sistas out there that think their excrement isn’t foul just because of the way they look or the size of their bank accounts. The light of revelation and discovery in relationships has to be turned inward before you can turn it on your unsuspecting prey. Being in a relationship is like being a good leader. You can’t ask your troops to do anything you wouldn’t be willing to do. If you want your man to be more passionate, think about what YOU’RE doing in the bedroom. If you want your woman to be more fiscally responsible…take her credit cards…then look at YOUR spending patterns.
For instance…I listened to my mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah…bring on the mama’s boy jokes…but hear me out. My mother always told me that I need to be able to totally take care of myself, so I didn’t depend on anyone else to do it. I learned to cook (well!) to clean (well!) to sew (basics)…to do any and everything to be totally independent. So say I put on my Sunday-Go-To-Meeting clothes and I find a nice little cutie to court. We kick it for a while, but **CLUTCH THE PEARLS** there’s a slight problem...She's not perfect! **GASP** She has all the other traits I want, but she can’t cook or balance her checkbook to save her life. What do I do? Do I send her packing waiting for Miss Perfect to show up? No…I teach her how to cook, eventually she teaches me something then I teach her something else…do you see a pattern developing here? (incidentally…in my hometown, there was a single mom on the street where I lived and her last name was Perfect…DAMN she was fine!! **fainting** But I digress….)
We’re so preoccupied with finding the “Perfect Woman or Man” that we lose sight of good things in front of us. We all want to score a touchdown, but we need to concentrate on getting a first down! What I’m trying to say is, relationships take work. You get out of them what you put in to them. You’ll have your joy and your pain…but as long as you’re working towards your goals together, it’ll be more of an odyssey than a battle. We can struggle and fight 24/7 in this battle of the sexes, but until we stop trying to point fingers and assign blame to each other, it’ll be Pyrrhic victory in a war of attrition. Hmmm…I wonder what Miss Perfect is doing these days…I may have to look her up, I’m sure she can teach me some things!
posted by Catch22 at 12:23 PM
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